5.28.08

So, I have been without internet for a while now, at the house. I have missed having internet. Things with the family unpacking was interesting and horrible. Thats all I have to say today.

Family

Ok, so I love my family, don't get me wrong, they are great to me. But today was horrrible, everyone was on edge because we were packing up as much as we could so that it would make the morning eaiser for us to leave. It was just screaming, and I slipped back into my synical nature, being sarchastic all the time, every statement, with my mother and sister. I can understand my mom being concerned, but my sister.... lets just say thank goodness I am not staying in the tent trailer. I have a brain, sis. I wasn't planning on putting in my stuff in a bad way, hello! Even if I did it perfect dad would still move it around, because that is the way that he is...
I am just glad that we are leaving tomorrow and I can slip into my room, sis will be going back up to school (I think) and I will have the house to myself. Also, Alex came up with me this time, and my family likes him, and he did really well, dealing with the crazyness, he kept me in check. I was really sad when he left yesterday. He was my buffer. Now I am trying to escape, and I escape to being alone because space is what I need right now.
Other than that, I have been getting rather interesting text messages from one of my ex boyfriends, and I don't know if I want to do what we planned since last time we talked. I don't think I can. I think that is because I don't want to hurt Alex because I think I really do love him, which sucks because he doesn't love me, because I said it to him and he didn't say it back. I don't know what it is going to be like this summer because I still do not have a job or an internship. Anyways, I'll try to post again tomorrow and tell yall how the move out went.

5.16.08

So Alex and I are officially back together, for now. I don't think it is going to last too long. I hope he wasn't just using me as a free meal and ride (because I legally cannot drink, nor do I like to), on his birthday. I understand that since it is his 21rst, he is supposed to get so drunk he doesn't remember a thing, but your not the one that has to deal with him in a car. I hate it when he is drunk, I don't enjoy hanging out with him at all. It's like babysitting a five year old, who swears, and is the worst back seat driver saying, "Stop..... Go" at every single stop sign and stop light. Plus then he gets so handsy in public, and I have always had this thing with PDA. I personally cannot do it, I feel weird, and I never want to be "that girl". Whenever I see a couple doing it I feel weirded out looking and seeing them. He also assumed since it was his birthday that his "real" gift was..... well you know. And I was like, hello! We were just broken up. And the gift I gave him I thought was really nice. PG of course, but I don't care. Just because its your birthday doesn't mean I am going to do it. Plus him being drunk when he was trying to was just not pleasant, even kissing him was not pleasant. He reeked of alcohol, and this was before he even went out to the bars. Tonight he is doing this thing called a bar crawl where literally you are crawling to each bar because you are so drunk. I hope he doesn't call me to hang out, and I know that is horrible, but I just don't feel like dealing with him.
Oh, on a lighter note, I made it onto the Servant Team with IVCF. I am so excited. I really feel like this is right for me, that this is the way I should be going, getting my song finished, and just learning more. I am so excited. Plus when I tell my uncle, he will be so proud. At least I know there will be at least two people who support me in this. Both of which are my uncle's. Uncle Ralph and Uncle Dave. Both on my fathers' side. I don't think my dad likes the idea anymore. My mom has been against it the whole time because she thinks that the religious people are going to brainwash me and she is going to loose her "left wing liberal daughter". I wish she would just understand that this makes me happy, and its not dangerous or anything like that. That will probably be my hardest obstacle for me to get over next year.
Oh, also I was able to book brookie's ticket for her to come out to California. I am so excited, I don't think you know. I haven't seen her since she helped me move in 9 months ago. I really can't wait. I wish it was just closer so that I can hang out with her again.

5.2.08

I am very frustrated today. Its just the way people are treating Lian at Craig. People are making excuses to dance around an explination to why they don't want to hang out with her anymore. They are saying that she is "too quiet" to be in the group, that they "don't see a reason for her to be in the group anymore" which is just so making me want to scream at someone. I don't know who is saying it, but I have a few ideas. I think they are not talking to her because she is talking to me, which I find so high school, it is annoying. They get a thrill out of treating some of their best friends like shit! It just makes me think that people are not even human. I don't get how they can treat such a kind and wonderful (but quiet) person like this. Its not even high school anymore, its just plain stupidity and arrogance and inhumane. They have no compation for her just because she doesn't like to drink, party (in the way that they do) or be loud. Honestly, you need someone to be the quiet reserved one in the group just to find a balance for the extremly loud peole like myself.