So, this is actually about my dog, the poor guy. He has been injured, it happened a few weeks ago.
He got a cut on his back that got infected, and we didn't notice until the maggots came. It was horrible and gross. He had a really bad hot spot, and we didn't think he was going to make it. We took him to the emergency vet, and he got "tented" to kill the bugs (they didn't want to do it the other way, they didn't like the dark spot on his lung). He didn't move at all the first day back home. He didn't move much the second day he was home. It was really scary, and than he started to move a bit better, but still had trouble getting up on his own. Than he just kept getting better and better. He still has a big scab on his butt from the hot spot, but no maggots have come back, and he is as pushy and normal as ever.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Annoyed
I love my friends, don't get me wrong, but with "that time of the month" coming up quickly, I have noticed how annoying they can really be. I'm trying to organize a trip to go pick up a dear friend. And everyone seems to have the same problem. Its at 7:30 in the morning, and none of them want to get up.
I really don't get it, its kiwi, you do this for her, she has been stuck on the other side of the country, and yet, you can't cut your sleeping time for a little bit to see her when she arrives?
I wish I could understand where they are coming from. At least one of them has school in the morning, but he is willing to get up earlier than normal to see her. Another friend however, has nothing but a doctor's appointment (not even a physical), and he's not even going to try. That is the saddest part of all. No one is going to try. Except those who actually care.
Now, some friends have work in the morning, and that's fine, most of them are just coming later (I'm having a chill party at my house). One friend is even working later that night, and he is coming. But the lazy one's are not trying. And its very sad, it actually is hurting me that people can treat kiwi like this, that it has come to this, that she's no longer important to them. Sleep is more important than her for some people. Not me. I don't care if I only get two hours of sleep, I will be there, bright and early, with me smile (and maybe a sign, if I can find some paper).
I really don't get it, its kiwi, you do this for her, she has been stuck on the other side of the country, and yet, you can't cut your sleeping time for a little bit to see her when she arrives?
I wish I could understand where they are coming from. At least one of them has school in the morning, but he is willing to get up earlier than normal to see her. Another friend however, has nothing but a doctor's appointment (not even a physical), and he's not even going to try. That is the saddest part of all. No one is going to try. Except those who actually care.
Now, some friends have work in the morning, and that's fine, most of them are just coming later (I'm having a chill party at my house). One friend is even working later that night, and he is coming. But the lazy one's are not trying. And its very sad, it actually is hurting me that people can treat kiwi like this, that it has come to this, that she's no longer important to them. Sleep is more important than her for some people. Not me. I don't care if I only get two hours of sleep, I will be there, bright and early, with me smile (and maybe a sign, if I can find some paper).
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sleepless nights
I so need sleep right now. I know, college students can function on three hours of sleep and such. And its not like I have anything besides school to do tomorrow, its just that it is 1:21, and I am still awake. I don't understand why! I just want to go to sleep, I don't have anything to do right now, except complain on my blog. I almost want to just try and take something to make me fall asleep, but I do not own anything that would help accomplish that and let me be human in the morning. I don't understand why this is going on. I don't need to pray over anything, the Holy Spirit is not here right now telling me to pray about something. I have just been lying here thinking of nothing, because when I think of something it keeps me awake. Nothing is so much better, makes my thoughts go away. I am probably not making all that much sense right now. And that's ok, because it is 1:24 now. Why? Why? Why? Why?
I am so sick and tired of so many things. Why do guys never give you even signals. Women are complicated? Ya right, men are so much more complicated. When you get us a gift, make it shiny, cute/fluffy, smells good, or tastes amazing, and we will be happy, except for the few out there who tell you not to get it, even though they might still cherish the thought. You guys, we give you a tie, and you think we are saying your wardrobe needs to be adjusted. We give you a movie that you ask for, and a month later when you go to visit them, you find it still in the plastic case with it around it. You didn't even open it you jerk. At least when your front them, they don't mess much around than... I asked this guy out, straight up, didn't dilly dally into it, just did it, and he said "I'm not in a position in which I would feel comfortable to date anyone, so I will have to decline, sorry..." WTF does that mean??? Will anyone answer me that question. I know he was trying to be nice and decline me in a nice way, but what the hell does it mean?
I am glad that I didn't date him because now I see why it would have not worked out. More than likely he is a virgin, and is the son of pastor, so, he will probably stay that way till he is married, and I am not, so.... awkward situations would come up, because honestly, we women have needs similar to the sexual active men that have needs. And the whole thing about women being more picky, I am the exact opposite. I am just so annoyed with being alone. I want to be with someone, emotionally and physically. I just want to be able to lay next to someone, cuddle, and just relax together before going to sleep. Why can't I seem to get that here?
It seems that all the guys here just want the silly drunk girls that can barely stand after a long night of partying. More than likely they pass out during sex, and than you have to deal with them in the morning not know what the hell happened, and be there as they are freaking out.
I was that girl a few weekends ago. I went up to Humboldt State for a pep band game. Lets just say after the game, I drank with the Humboldt people more than I have ever drank in the cumulative of the last year. All I know is now the guys from my school have a drunken love hook-up song dedicated to me, and the new flashes we do to it is the pelvic thrust. I don't believe I had sex, cause I think I would have felt something, unless he was really small. And the only thing I remember from that night is that it was really really cold, and that I needed to have two people around me to keep me from freezing, cause they wouldn't turn on their heater.... It was pretty annoying... And the next morning, awkward stares from said guy (might I add, not all that good looking in the morning, but I probably looked worse, cause of my sleeping arrangements). But despite the memory lapse, I felt better in the relational department for a little while, till tonight.
I like three guys. One is the one I asked out, I can't help it, I have to be around him all the time. I like this other guy, kind of, I brought him soup the other day because he wasn't feeling well, and I thought that would help to show that I have feeling for him, and alas, nothing happened. And the third guy, I am not really sure about. I hang out with him once in a while, and when we were having the game/movie party/night, I asked if anyone needed a back massage, because he was helping out his roommate with his leg, and he immediately raised his hand. I thought that might trigger something, but again, no.
Guys are so fickle. Arg. I am done, I might actually be tired now. Yay!
I am so sick and tired of so many things. Why do guys never give you even signals. Women are complicated? Ya right, men are so much more complicated. When you get us a gift, make it shiny, cute/fluffy, smells good, or tastes amazing, and we will be happy, except for the few out there who tell you not to get it, even though they might still cherish the thought. You guys, we give you a tie, and you think we are saying your wardrobe needs to be adjusted. We give you a movie that you ask for, and a month later when you go to visit them, you find it still in the plastic case with it around it. You didn't even open it you jerk. At least when your front them, they don't mess much around than... I asked this guy out, straight up, didn't dilly dally into it, just did it, and he said "I'm not in a position in which I would feel comfortable to date anyone, so I will have to decline, sorry..." WTF does that mean??? Will anyone answer me that question. I know he was trying to be nice and decline me in a nice way, but what the hell does it mean?
I am glad that I didn't date him because now I see why it would have not worked out. More than likely he is a virgin, and is the son of pastor, so, he will probably stay that way till he is married, and I am not, so.... awkward situations would come up, because honestly, we women have needs similar to the sexual active men that have needs. And the whole thing about women being more picky, I am the exact opposite. I am just so annoyed with being alone. I want to be with someone, emotionally and physically. I just want to be able to lay next to someone, cuddle, and just relax together before going to sleep. Why can't I seem to get that here?
It seems that all the guys here just want the silly drunk girls that can barely stand after a long night of partying. More than likely they pass out during sex, and than you have to deal with them in the morning not know what the hell happened, and be there as they are freaking out.
I was that girl a few weekends ago. I went up to Humboldt State for a pep band game. Lets just say after the game, I drank with the Humboldt people more than I have ever drank in the cumulative of the last year. All I know is now the guys from my school have a drunken love hook-up song dedicated to me, and the new flashes we do to it is the pelvic thrust. I don't believe I had sex, cause I think I would have felt something, unless he was really small. And the only thing I remember from that night is that it was really really cold, and that I needed to have two people around me to keep me from freezing, cause they wouldn't turn on their heater.... It was pretty annoying... And the next morning, awkward stares from said guy (might I add, not all that good looking in the morning, but I probably looked worse, cause of my sleeping arrangements). But despite the memory lapse, I felt better in the relational department for a little while, till tonight.
I like three guys. One is the one I asked out, I can't help it, I have to be around him all the time. I like this other guy, kind of, I brought him soup the other day because he wasn't feeling well, and I thought that would help to show that I have feeling for him, and alas, nothing happened. And the third guy, I am not really sure about. I hang out with him once in a while, and when we were having the game/movie party/night, I asked if anyone needed a back massage, because he was helping out his roommate with his leg, and he immediately raised his hand. I thought that might trigger something, but again, no.
Guys are so fickle. Arg. I am done, I might actually be tired now. Yay!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Home for the Holidays
So, being back home is a real treat indeed. My dad is alseep, my dog at my side, my mother tending the fire, my sister and I are on our computers. Seperated by our own little worlds, our own minds, alone but together at the same time. Is this what the holidays have come to, being together because of obligation, not because we want to be. Giving presands to one another because we hae to, not really knowing what we should give, but what we think they may like, some trinket or gift card that they might use, might not use, who knows. I wish I wanted to be here, I wish I was someplace else, or just having fun.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
9.14.08
Awake at 3am in the morning... now there is only one reason why I am awake this early, and still have to be awake at 8am later... and that would be my lovely roommate. The one who leaves dirty dishes in the sink, but says she is a neat freak. The one that is a Christian and devout, yet goes out drinking with her friends and Jewish boyfriend every single weekend night. Now I could understand going out tonight, two of our used to be common friends had a birthday around this weekend. So, she went shopping with another was friend, got a corset, even though she swore she was not going to bother dressing up a lot. Then, came home and said, "I guess I also need a mask" and we used the feathers/masks/glitter that I had saved for when our big group of used to be friends were going to have a mascaraed ball themed party. Obviously that didn't work out and not just because they aren't my friends anymore, but once the idea became a reality, no one wanted to do it. And of course this was after I sent money getting the materials. Fitting, isn't it? The girl that "screwed over" everyone in the group gets to see the evidence of her mishaps all over the place, and see's her roommate going out with these said friends. I am not in a good mood, I don't know if you could tell or not. But its 3am in the morning, and a loud phone conversation woke me up. Yes, it really was that loud. Content you ask? Well, don't mind if I do. She is fighting with said Jewish boyfriend because apparently she did the "right thing" and took her boyfriends roommate home and left her boyfriend at the party. Now, don't call her a slut, her intentions were good, but you can see where a drunken frat boys' mind would go... So, basically she called him a child, and now she is crying. How sad. Maybe when they break up this time it will be for good. I mean, she was talking about what they were going to name their kids. That can't be right. And of course there was the whole, she is a Christian, yet she said something interesting to me the other day. "I don't think I can be a Jewish mother. They seem to cook so much for dinner" and she does not 'do that' when it comes to food. For her, a meal consists of fried rice..... and thats it. Well, thats about all the venting I am going to do for today... who knows, maybe I will get mad again soon so yall can read about my pathetic life. Good night.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
8.28.08
So, I started school this week, and man, I think the people were right. I am insane for taking two biology classes. Not my best move, I must say. Now, I have 14 units (+1 from pep band, which I don't really count...), and I have IV leadership, and I am thinking of doing upward basketball, but I don't know if I really have the time for it. I would be coaching little kids, which would be a great thing for me to do, volunteering wise. Also, I want to see if I can volunteer at Enlo hospital, in order to apply for for the nursing program next semester. I am stressed, but I don't think I am showing it, besides the blood vessel in my eye popping (which can also be caused by a sneeze or cough). Other than that, I have been feeling lonely. Yes, I have my roommates, and people from IV, but I don't really have anyone else. Its rather lonely. Not to mention, the only time I see roommates is when we are at home at the same time, which is a rarity, and even then, sometimes we are in our own rooms. I just want to have someone that I can just call on a whim and hang out with. I have Sean, but sometimes he is busy too, working and such. Its not like I am going to be able to befriend a person in my large discussion classes.
Oh, so I am going to be a godmother to a bouncing baby boy! It is so exciting. Staci is I believe six months along now, and going to have a boy. She is still in Romania, and I don't know if she is going to come back. I really hope she does. My two best friends are so far away. It sucks. Kiwi is in Georgia, and planning to move out to Australia when she can, and Staci is in Romania.
The last thing that has been on my mind is this whole trombone situation. The library guy says I have to keep the trombone on campus (normal). But the thing that isn't normal is that I would have to share the trombone with someone else in the brass choir (ewww!!!). I was thinking about it, and not only do I have to play the worst trombone on campus, because I am only in pep band, but I have to share it! That's just wrong. Also, the people that are in the brass choirs' typically are very talented, and older, so wouldn't you think that they would have their own trombone, or possible play a better one...? I don't know, its just really frustrating.
Oh, so I am going to be a godmother to a bouncing baby boy! It is so exciting. Staci is I believe six months along now, and going to have a boy. She is still in Romania, and I don't know if she is going to come back. I really hope she does. My two best friends are so far away. It sucks. Kiwi is in Georgia, and planning to move out to Australia when she can, and Staci is in Romania.
The last thing that has been on my mind is this whole trombone situation. The library guy says I have to keep the trombone on campus (normal). But the thing that isn't normal is that I would have to share the trombone with someone else in the brass choir (ewww!!!). I was thinking about it, and not only do I have to play the worst trombone on campus, because I am only in pep band, but I have to share it! That's just wrong. Also, the people that are in the brass choirs' typically are very talented, and older, so wouldn't you think that they would have their own trombone, or possible play a better one...? I don't know, its just really frustrating.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
7.6.08
I know I may be sounding emo, but I feel abandoned. Its strange to feel like I am all alone yet I have family and a job to keep me company. Maybe working is too much for me right now and I need to ask my manger to cut back my hours, I don't know. My mom said that I look angry and sad at the same time, and something about spending more time with her, but I know it is useless. I am not the same person anymore. I just feel angry all the time, yet I am crying as I write this. I don't even remember the last time I felt 100% happy. I know I have, I just need to find out how to get back there, to rewind while still going forward with my life. I just wish it was easier to be like the old me.
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